Written by Anonymous
My optimistic theory for conquering the entire fucking Island, yes, that means EVERYTHING: To preface, the reason this plan is kind of naive is because I don't exactly know the size of the island, however it should exist on Earth (the pamphlet and the other man-made shit) and be relatively small enough to be hidden so I'm guessing it's your average, every day, killer Island. Primary Death Causes: -The Accursed Skellies hunting me down (A Temple built near a mountain on an island that's just a glorified cemetery? I'll estimate there are 400 bodies) -Cannibal Tribe eating my 'blessed' ass flesh (Doing research on the real-world Sentinelese Tribe, the Cannibal pop. can be estimated to be 200 people) -Lizard-asses being asses (I could've gone with 200 again, but these fuckers have been here for awhile, are smart, and basically armed ==> 500 Lizard-asses) -Being stupid with Cryptids (Any of 'em XD) Secondary Death Causes: -The Rot Disease (I'll give it around 4 years to fuck me up based on people going suicidal at 5 yrs) -Bored Deity eventually taking me as a sex slave if I do nothing (Which I won't so I think I'm good) -"The Other" Asshole fucking something up which kills me indirectly (I'ma fuck with this guy in late game) TOTAL PTS: 13 Companions: Great Doggo w/ Dire Wolf Pup and Wyvern Egg (10 pts) = Doggo will greatly aid in training/conditioning pup while both can provide their body heat for the Wyvern Egg for two years Punished Lizard (9 pts) = Defensive homes are required and I can learn how to combat Lizard-asses well Errant Conquistador (8 pts) = Great for defense and combat, and can teach me how to not be a total pussy. We'll name him Paco Witch Doctor (7 pts) = Keep me alive for when the shit hits the fan, maybe useful potions, and maaybe DTF? (Semen could possibly be a necessary reagent she needs amirite) Orphaned Cannibal (6 pts) = Will greatly aid in taking down the cannibals, but I guess I can't do anything about the whole father figure thing unless she kinky af Insane Survivor** = I feel bad for her... But hey with enough time and care, I can get her to tell me about how to best survive on the island cause she's obviously been *mostly* successful (Let's call her Mary) Shelters: Pod (6 pts) = place to sleep if I move it elsewhere I guess Ruined City (5 pts) = place to scavenge and hideout Disaster Shelter (4 pts) = Can make friends with rodents, scavenge, and travel safely across the island Stone Plantation** = Once it's defended, basically an unlimited amount of food for everyone (Especially with Straw Dolly) Artifacts: Plague Emblem (3 pts) = Can pretty much kill many of the humanoid pests on the Island with an army of loyal rats Holding Dagger (2 pts) = Might as well become a terrifying mofo myself while killing other terrifying mofos Straw Dolly (1 pt) = A reliable way to feed me and my companions if hunting fails Slaver's Collar (0 pts) = IMA FUCKING ENSLAVE DRAGONS (That's pretty late game though, so in the meantime, it'll be great for getting info out of most of my enemies) Guide to Magic* = Has some useful shit - basically endless fire and oil, can use the immovable and mist ability for a kickass ambush combo, and can combo the fire and oil spit to deal with cryptids Misc Equipment: Kukri Machete* = Ain't gonna kill with my bare hands Flare Gun* = Good for giant cryptid emergencies Compass* = Necessary for scouting and exploration without getting myself royally fucked Cryptid Research Guide*** = Best to learn how to either avoid, deal with, or even utilize 'em Oil Lantern*** = Endless Light source with oil magic spit Personal Journal*** = For sanity purposes and to learn how to make detailed maps to use Hunting Spear*** = Another weapon never hurts, plus it can double as a way to fish (perhaps also to hunt the eels if I become a badass later) Entrenching Shovel*** = Necessary for exploration and scavenging, and doubles as a weapon too Treasure Chest*** = Might as well be rewarded if I leave the Island waay in the future Missions: *Take up the Will (The Fountain of Youth sounds like a good method for dealing with the rot realistically - plus it'll make Paco happy to do anything I ask him to since he wants to find it too) **Reunite the Tribes (I'm assuming these people are some separate other indigenous tribes on the island that are prey of basically everything like I am - so since I'm such a great guy and can relate to 'em, I'll help 'em out -- plus I get an army of vengeful folks if I'm successful) ***Island Breakaway (Late-game shit - I'm leaving this bitch eventually, and may come back to check on how everything's doing) Actual game plan for conquering this bitch: OK. So the first year on the Island's gonna be a major shitfest for me and I have the greatest chance of dying that year. That being said, my goal then is to train and develop survival skills to deal with the environment on the Island, the natives, the cryptids, food and water sources, and my "safe houses." Firstly, I'm gonna have to get used to being extremely close to death with every turn and mistake I could make, and this fear of death will probably never disappear but may turn into an internal force causing me to strive to survive like I'm some sort of fucked up anime character. Mary, the Lizard guy, and my cannibal 'daughter' will let me know of incoming threats from nemesis-es and can teach me more about their native people, customs, culture, behavior, or anything useful I can use to either eradicate or befriend them (if it's even possible) all while keeping me company. Since I don't for sure know if I can befriend them (and if I want to for that matter), in my plan, I'll just kill 'em all or enslave them. Food should mostly be taken care of with the agriculture doll and I can learn what plants are edible and how to grow my own shit on the plantation. Some scouting will need to be done to find sources of clean, fresh water. Then again, any water I do locate would need to be boiled to clean it of toxins and parasites or whatnot, but that shouldn't be terribly difficult since I can produce fire and just require some sticks to keep it going. By the way, I shouldn't have to worry about the rot disease for the first few years even though it'll increasingly become a bigger nuisance that'll start to fuck with my focus on keeping alive, but hopefully, the witchdoc can keep it to a minimum while I train. Also, 'The Other' shouldn't be too bothersome with his fuck-ups since I'm still a virgin pussy in the first year and can pretty much die super easily from whatever. Taking this into account, I'd make sure to spend much of my free-time caring for the highly-dependent pup, documenting and internalizing the layout of the disaster shelter and the ruined city, trying to learn the lizard language from my lizard buddy, and receiving training from Paco. This is just in case "The Other" ass intends on killing the lizard guy, my pup, Paco, or burning my notebook that I use to document everything in. During this time, I will also study the cryptids first with the research guide and then firsthand by scouting their nests and habitats from a distance with Doggo or Paco. The witchdoc'll heal me if I fuck up with even this. (Most likely) So to conclude the first year, the best position I can be in is theoretically knowing how to deal with/avoid most of the common cryptids on the island, documenting all of the underground disaster shelter and most of the ruined city, being somewhat adept at fighting and surviving and being somewhat knowledgeable in dealing with the angry assholes hunting me, having secure locations of food and water for me and my companions, knowing the 'hotspots' on the island (locations for tribes, cryptid nests, enemy camps, glorified cemetery, and shit like that), setting up beneficial relationships with my companions, and finally creating secure bases of operation throughout the island with the different shelters I have and through secure travel in the underground tunnels with a rat army. AQ Cheat: javascript:document.embeds[0].SetVariable("_root.monster.intHP", 0)